Top 10 Las Vegas Lies & the Truths They Hide

Las Vegas is a city built on fictitious realities (and we’re not even referring to the scenario where the Oakland A’s move to the Strip!) 

To understand some of what’s truly communicated in town daily, one must navigate a distinct language filled with widespread falsehoods. Think of this as your Google Translate for the falsehoods of Las Vegas. 

We'll begin with the largest... 

 

1) WHEN GAMBLERS SAY: “I’m up!”

They Really Mean:

I'm not including the two big ones I lost yesterday. 

Companies wouldn’t continue constructing $4 billion mega-resorts if your chances of winning there were anywhere near equal to the house’s odds. Although winning significantly in the short term can happen, it is quite improbable, and the chances decrease even more over the long term. 

In slot machines, the house advantage ranges from 2% to 15% or higher. Your odds of hitting a substantial jackpot on a typical play range from 1 in 10,000 to 1 in 50,000 for standard slots, while for Megabucks machines, it's 1 in 50 million. 

Even Baccarat, known for having one of the lowest house edges among table games at approximately 1.06%, cannot be defeated over the long run. Indeed, your odds of winning a specific hand on a banker wager are approximately 45.86%, compared to a 44.63% likelihood of losing and a 9.51% possibility of a tie. However, a 5% commission applies to banker wins, which is not factored into the win probability, yet reduces your net gains. 

Here are several other major Las Vegas myths and their true meanings. 

 

2) WHEN CELEBRITIES SAY: “This is my favorite new club or restaurant!”

They Really Mean:
I just got paid millions to post that to Instagram.

 

3) WHEN DEVELOPERS SAY: “This multibillion-dollar Las Vegas Strip project will definitely get built!”

They Really Mean:
No it won’t.

 

4) WHEN THE CONCIERGE SAYS:
“I recommend this restaurant/nightclub/experience.”

THEY REALLY MEAN:
The corporation that owns the property I work for is a partner in that restaurant/nightclub/experience, or I get kickbacks for anyone I send there.

 

5) “WHEN THE BOUNCER AT A TRENDY CLUB SAYS: “It’ll be a couple more minutes.”

They Really Mean:

If you were an attractive young woman just past your teenage years, it would take a few more minutes for you and your top. I suggest either Denny's or giving me a $100 tip. 

 

6) WHEN HOTELS SAY: “Please reuse towels to help us save the environment.”

They Really Mean:
We’ve already laid off a significant portion of our cleaning staff.

 

7) WHEN A GORGEOUS WOMAN WALKS UP TO YOU AND SAYS: “Well, hi there!”

They Really Mean:
Nice watch! I’m a hooker who will trick-roll you for it.

 

8) WHEN SHOWROOM HEADLINERS SAY: “Tonight, you’re in for a very special treat.”

They Really Mean:
I’ve said that twice a night for the past 15-20 years.

 

9) WHEN CASINO COMPANIES SAY: “Our next property will be unlike anything Las Vegas has ever seen.”

They Really Mean:
It will be the same as our last one, only we will charge you more for everything.

 

10) WHEN HOTELS SAY: “Resort fees are a convenience to you so we don’t have to charge you separately for our wi-fi, gym, and phone.”

They Really Mean:
You really will believe anything, won’t you?